Kris At Da Movie's Archives

The past week or so everyone was debating on whether Leonardo DiCaprio would finally get his Oscar after failing to bring home gold on his previous three attempts. He was a favorite going in, so I don’t believe anyone was surprised when his named was called.

I have yet to see ‘The Revenant.’ I plan on it though, not because of all the Oscar buzz. The story is what interests me. It’s part of our history, and I find it fascinating.

I personally feel Leo is a fantastic actor. He’s also easy on the eyes, which is an added benefit. But Leo should of received an Oscar the first time he was nominated in 1994 for Best Supporting Actor. Which brings us to one of my favorite movies, ‘What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?’

Leo and Johnny Depp. What's not to love??? — Leo and Johnny Depp. What’s not to love???

If you like quirky dramas, this film is a gem. It’s a film about choices and playing the hand that life dealt you. It’s about coping and living. Growing up in small town rural America. Gilbert Grape is dealing with being the provider for his family, and growing up and becoming his own man.

The film in itself is wonderfully done. The story line is well written, the message is timeless. There are no jaw dropping special effects, no blood and guts. Even if this type of movie doesn’t appeal to you, you still need to check it out.

You see, Leonardo DiCaprio pulls off a mind blowing performance in this film as Gilberts mentally challenged brother, Arnie. You can’t even describe how good he is in this movie. And he was so young. Amazing.

He looks 12!! Still shoulda got the Oscar. Just sayin'. — He looks 12!! Still shoulda got the Oscar. Just sayin’.

I’m not going to tell you anymore. If you haven’t seen it yet, just pull it up on Netflix. Hell, even if you have seen it, watch it again. With all the remakes and ‘Twilights’ out there, it’s good to just sit and watch a well done original movie.

Kudos Mr. DiCaprio. Well done and long overdue.

On a scale of one to five, I give ‘What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?’ a 4 3/4. k

I have always been a huge fan of Joe Dirt. The movie to me is classic.

And one thing you should never do to a classic is fuck with it. Ever.

So why, David Spade, did you feel the need to mess with Joe??? Are you broke??? We would of started a “Go Fund Me” page for you just as long as you promised never to make a sequel to Joe Dirt.

But no, you just had to do it.

Rumor has it you succumbed to fan pressure, as the original was nearing cult status. David, haven’t you heard the expression “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”??? Obviously not. But I bet Joe Dirt has, and he’s probably spinning in his trailer crying into his PBR. Because you made a terrible sequel. And this is why I’m upset with you David.

This movie was messed up from the git go. Two lesbian doctors (one smoking) deliver Joe’s triplets. What this has to do with anything, I have no clue. Then Joe decides he has to go back to the double wide to get something during a tornado and gets swept up. This is where it gets really lame. The plot then gears toward a Wizard Of Oz/ Back To The Future/ It’s A Wonderful Life thing. Our hero winds up back in 1965. Why?? No one knows. No one cares. Except some fat lady sitting at the bus stop, ala “Forrest Gump”.

During this time he meets up with people who he is destined to encounter in the future. These folks are supposed to look like younger versions of themselves, or their parents. They all look like people in their 50’s with a ton of makeup. Why?Because they are people in their fifties wearing a ton of make up.

And how did you talk Patrick Warburton into doing this god awful movie?? Did he owe you money or something?? And his character?? A biker/pervert/guardian angel?? Where did that come from?

What’s the deal casting Mark McGrath?? Seriously, why the hell did you cast him?? Did you owe him money??

Next time someone tries to convince you that a sequel to “Tommy Boy” would be worth it’s weight in gold, remember this lesson. Some things are meant to be left alone.

I’m sure Joe Dirt was wishing you had done just that. I know I am. k